Musical Madness
by Sevi Snape
Summary: Fred and George put a spell on hogwarts and every starts singing even voledmort
1. Default Chapter

Usual Disclaimer.  
  
Scene 1- Zonko's joke shop  
  
Fred and George sat behind the counter of Zonko's joke shop. It was a quiet day in the village of Hogsmeade. In fact it was always quiet. The only excitement was when the school let the students go out of the grounds into Hogsmeade but that was only every so often. "God I'm bored," whined Fred as he lay slouched over the counter. "I know, "sighed his brother. "Hey you know we should make things more exciting round here. I mean when we were at Hogwarts there was never a dull moment. But now we have gone there's no fun there! Bet it's as boring as here." Fred started giggling to himself. "What's so funny?" George demanded. "I was just wondering what effect that Musical Madness Spell would have on the castle. You know the one were for 1 year the whole place would burst into songs at relevant moments in life. I think it would be great to see Dumbledore sing, or even Snape." Fred giggled. "Yeah! Doesn't the spell make them reveal their true feelings too? Bet Minerva would admit to loving Snape or something." George said. "Hey why don't we?" Fred shouted as he jumped up. "Why don't we sneak in tonight and activate the spell?"  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 2 - Somewhere in Hogwarts castle.  
  
That night Fred and George sneaked into the castle and snuck up to the tallest tower. Together they cast the spell over the entire castle and grounds. "That should liven things up a bit now!" George said and they made their way back down the tower into the main school. "Hey Fred! Hey George! Are you two never apart?" Hermione called as she saw them emerge from a passage way. Suddenly swing music started to play. "I'm gonna kill you Hermione!" Fred shouted before.  
  
Fred: Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall...  
  
George: Like a kappa clings to the sea...  
  
Fred: Like you'll never get rid of your shadow...  
  
George: You'll never get rid of me!  
  
Together: Let all the others fight and fuss. Whatever happens, we've got us.  
  
George: Me and my shadow...  
  
Fred: Closer than pages that stick in a book, we're closer than ripples that float in a brook.  
  
George: ...strolling down the avenue.  
  
Fred: Wherever you find him you'll find me - just look. Closer than a house-elf always hanging around his boss. Me and my shadow...  
  
George: Closer than smog is to all of LA, closer than Draco to confessing he's gay...  
  
Together: Not a spell can bust this team in two. We stick together like glue.  
  
George: When it's sleeping time...  
  
Fred: That's when we rise.  
  
George: ...we start to swing.  
  
Fred: You think you're so jazz, you!  
  
George: Our clocks don't chime.  
  
Fred: What a surprise.  
  
Together: They ring-a-ding-ding, happy New Year!  
  
Fred: Me and my shadow.  
  
George: Now to repeat what I said at the start - Avada Kedavra won't break us apart.  
  
Together: We're alone but far from blue. Before we get finished we'll make the town roar. We'll hit a few late spots and then a few more. We'll start out at Leaky's or maybe Three Brooms. Life is gonna be a wow-wowee for my shadow and me! The corridor exploded with cheers and whoops and shouts of "Encore!" as George and Fred finished dramatically. George leant against the wall exhausted, but Fed tugged on his arm, eyeing up a crowd of girls who were waving quills and bits of parchment for their autograph. "I could have told you I was gay," Draco said.  
  
Fred: Mate that was ace can we do it again?  
  
George: No, I'm too tired.  
  
Fred: Oh, please, George!  
  
George: No, I'm swung out.  
  
Fred: Oh, come on! I'll give you some money.  
  
George: Don't need any money.  
  
Fred: How about a cup of tea?  
  
George: Not thirsty.  
  
Fred: ...I won't tell anyone you're gay...  
  
George: Fu...!  
  
He jumped up hurriedly and the music started again.  
  
Together: Before we get finished we'll make the town roar. We'll hit all the late spots and then a few more. We'll start out at Leaky's or maybe Three Brooms. Life is gonna be a wow-wowee for my shadow and me!  
  
"What the hell just happened?" Hermione asked when they had finished. "Well we got bored and thought we would liven things up by placing a spell on the castle. It makes you reveal true feelings in song." Fred grinned. "We didn't expect to get caught by it." "See you lot later!" George called as he pulled Fred away from the crowd. "Enjoy the spell and tell us how it goes!"  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 3 - Gryffindor common room  
  
Hermione stormed into the common room. "Do you know what your brothers have done?" she fumed? "Erm broke into Gringotts and made the goblins dance?" Ron said innocently "No they have put a spell on this castle so that we will show our true feelings in song, like a musical! My life is gonna be hell!" Hermione said. Harry had gone very pale. "So whatever we feel we are gonna have to tell everybody in a song?" he said his eyes wide with fear.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 4 - Gryffindor common room  
  
Hermione sat almost alone in the common room that night dreading the next day. Parvati and Lavender were reading into the corner and Ginny was finishing an essay. She knew she would reveal to the whole school what she had been denying even to herself for years, for 7 years in fact. Soft music began to play and she tutted to her self before.  
  
Hermione: If there's a prize for rotten judgment I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history, been there, done that!  
  
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Who'd'ya think you're kiddin' He's the Earth and heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feel and Who you're thinking of  
  
Hermione: No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no  
  
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You swoon, you sigh Why deny it, uh-oh  
  
Hermione: It's too cliché I won't say I'm in love  
  
I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming get a grip, girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out Oh  
  
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That ya got, got, got it bad  
  
Hermione: No chance, now way I won't say it, no, no  
  
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Give up, give in Check the grin you're in love  
  
Hermione: This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love  
  
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: You're doin flips read our lips You're in love  
  
Hermione: You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it  
  
Parvati, Lavender and Ginny: Girl, don't be proud It's O.K. you're in love  
  
Hermione: Oh At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love  
  
"I hate this spell," she grumbled.  
  
"I thought we sounded pretty good then," Lavender grinned.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 5 - the staff room  
  
The staff were also feeling the effects of the song spell. Minerva was in the staff room as Severus walked in. she and Severus had been passionate partners for a while, now they barely said a word to each other. Suddenly.  
  
Minerva: It must have been love but it's over now  
  
It must have been good but I lost it somehow  
  
It must have been love but it's over now  
  
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out  
  
"What exactly was that?" Severus asked as the last note died away.  
  
"I don't know Severus it's been happening all over the castle." Minerva said bemused.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 6- the potions classroom  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione all walked into the potions classroom the next day. Both Harry and Hermione looked edgy. They were straining their ears for signs of music.  
  
"Shut up!" Snape bellowed as he burst into the room, "I know there is a curse on the castle so just get on with your work and it won't bother you."  
  
After about half an hour the inevitable happened. Hermione and the other girls jumped up and started dancing as Hermione started to sing and looked directly at Snape as she did..  
  
All I do is dream of you The whole night through With the dawn, I still go on Dreaming of you You're every thought You're everything You're every song I ever sing Summer, winter, autumn and spring.  
  
And were there more Than twenty-four hours a day, They'd be spent in sweet content Dreamin' away  
  
When skies are gray When skies are blue Morning, noon and nighttime too All I do the whole day through Is dream of you  
  
"Miss granger?" Snape asked shocked.  
  
"Sorry Professor but." Hermione began before.  
  
I have always loved you! I have always loved you!  
  
"Miss Granger sit down and don't open your mouth for any reason!" Severus snapped.  
  
Tears welled in Hermione's eyes. Had rejected her. How could she live now? She ran out of the potions class room.  
  
\"what the hell?" Ron asked staring after Hermione. "She loves him? How? Why?"  
  
"Dunno sometimes love doesn't act the way you want." Harry said looking somewhere over Ron's shoulder.  
  
"What you looking at Potter? Wishing you could look this good?" Malfoy sneered.  
  
"In your dreams!" Harry retorted, "I look better than you without even trying!"  
  
Harry: I'm superior, you're inferior. I'm the big attraction, you're the small. I'm the major one; you're the minor one, I can beat you shootin', that's not all.  
  
Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do any thing better than you.  
  
Draco No you can't.  
  
Harry: Yes I can.  
  
Draco: No you can't.  
  
Harry: Yes I can.  
  
Draco No you can't.  
  
Harry Yes I can, yes I can.  
  
Draco: Anything you can sing I can sing louder. I can sing anything louder than you.  
  
Harry: No you can't.  
  
Draco: Yes I can.  
  
Harry: No you can't.  
  
Draco: Yes I can.  
  
Harry: No you can't.  
  
Draco: Yes I can, yes I can.  
  
Harry: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.  
  
Draco I can do it quicker and get even sicker. I can live on bread and cheese.  
  
Harry: And only on that?  
  
Draco: Yes.  
  
Harry: So can a rat.  
  
Draco Anyone you can lick, I can lick faster.  
  
Harry I can lick anyone faster than you.  
  
Draco: Prove it!  
  
The whole class looked totally stunned. Not only had they just argued in song but Draco asked Harry to prove he could lick someone! This spell was taking some damn weird turns.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 7 - somewhere in the forbidden forest  
  
No one knew but in the Hogwarts grounds Voldemort was planning to attack the castle. They had created a secret base in the forbidden forest.  
  
"So my faithful followers do we know what we must do?" Voldemort spat at his death eaters.  
  
"Yes master!" they all said groveling.  
  
"Well then listen to me."  
  
Voldemort: I know that your powers of retention Are as wet as a warthog's backside But thick as you are, pay attention My words are a matter of pride  
  
It's clear from your vacant expressions The lights are not all on upstairs But we're talking kings and successions Even you can't be caught unawares  
  
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime Be prepared for sensational news A shining new era Is tiptoeing nearer  
  
Death Eaters: And where do we feature?  
  
Voldemort: Just listen to teacher I know it sounds sordid But you'll be rewarded When at last I am given my dues! And injustice deliciously squared Be prepared!  
  
Lucius: Be prepared for what?  
  
Voldemort: For the death of the Headmaster!  
  
Crabbe: Why? Is he sick?  
  
Voldemort: No, you fool, we're going to kill him... and Harry too!  
  
Goyle: Great idea! Who needs a king?  
  
All the death eaters: No Headmaster, No Headmaster, nah nah nah nah nah nah!  
  
Voldemort: Idiots! There will BE a Headmaster!  
  
Lucius: But you just said...  
  
Voldemort: *I* will be Headmaster! Stick with me, and you'll never be sneered at again!  
  
Death Eaters: YEA!!!!!! Long live the Headmaster! It's great that we'll soon be connected With a king who'll be all-time adored  
  
Voldemort: Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected To take certain duties on board The future is littered with prizes And though I'm the main addressee The point that I must emphasize is You won't get a sniff without me So prepare for the coup of the century Be prepared for the murkiest scam Meticulous planning Tenacity spanning Decades of denial Is simply why I'll Be king undisputed Respected, saluted And seen for the wonder I am Yes my wand and ambitions are bared Be prepared!  
  
Death Eaters Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared Be prepared!  
  
"What the hell just happened?" Voldemort asked. "How can I be an evil wizard and strike fear into people when I burst into song?"  
  
The Death Eaters looked at each other trying to explain what had just happened.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer of songs. Me and my shadow - this version is Robbie Williams but Mieko Belle changed the words. I won't say I'm in love- is from the film Hercules. It must've been love- Roxette, All I do is dream of you - is from Singin' in the Rain I will always love you - Whitney Houston Anything you can do I can do better - from Annie Get Your Gun Be Prepared - is from the Lion King. 


	2. 1

Scene 8 - Draco's room.  
  
Draco stormed into his room. He was angry with himself. Yet again he had argued with Harry. And he loved he really did. He wouldn't admit, not even to himself sometimes but he did. He loved the cute way he flicked his hair out of his eyes, the sweet way he bit his lip when he was concentrating and have adorable he looked when he blushed. But he couldn't tell Harry that, he couldn't even tell him self sometimes.  
  
"Why?" Draco asked himself before.  
  
I don't know how to love him. What to do, how to move him. I've been changed, yes really changed. In these past few days, when I've seen myself, I seem like someone else. I don't know how to take this. I don't see why he moves me. He's a man. He's just a man. And I've had so many men before, In very many ways, He's just one more. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love? Let my feelings out? I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about? Don't you think it's rather funny? I should be in this position. I'm the one who's always been So calm, so cool, no lover's fool, Running every show. He scares me so. I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about? Yet, if he said he loved me, I'd be lost. I'd be frightened. I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope. I'd turn my head. I'd back away. I wouldn't want to know. He scares me so. I want him so. I love him so.  
  
When he had finished Draco sighed. Resignedly he got up and walked out towards the lake for some quiet reflection.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 9 - by the lake  
  
Harry sat by the lake and looked across it towards the lights of Hogsmeade village. He often came here. Usually it was to think about his secret. The beautiful secret that he concealed from the world. The secret he allowed himself to look at when he was in private and able to examine it.  
  
Harry sighed.  
  
Do I love you because you're beautiful? Or are you beautiful because I love you? Am I making believe I see in you? A boy too lovely to be really true? Do I want you because you're wonderful? Or are you wonderful because I want you? Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream? Or are you really as beautiful as you seem?  
  
"Who's that about?" a mellifluous voice behind Harry asked.  
  
Harry turned around and saw the object of his affections there.  
  
"Draco?" he asked, "what are you doing here?"  
  
Draco didn't answer he just looked at Harry. Absently he licked his lips and.  
  
Draco: You are my lucky star I saw you from afar Two lovely eyes at me They where gleaming Beaming I was star struck  
  
Draco walked forward and wrapped his arms around Harry.  
  
Harry: You're are my lucky charm I'm lucky in your arms You've opened Heaven's portal Here on earth for this poor mortal You are my lucky star...  
  
As the last note died away the couple kissed.  
  
"Draco I never knew!" Harry cried.  
  
"Well now you do." Draco said seductively.  
  
"I think I like knowing that," Harry said as he pushed a strand of Draco's hair out of his eyes.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 10 - Severus Snape's chambers  
  
Severus sat in his lounge he was staring darkly into space.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?" asked Sarah, the defence teacher.  
  
"No thank you I think I can cope with my own problems." Severus said.  
  
Sarah pouted and blues music started up.  
  
Come to me my melancholy baby Cuddle up and don't be blue All your fears are foolish, fancy maybe You know dear that I'm in love with you  
  
Every cloud must have a silver lining Just wait until the sun shines through Smile, my honey dear, while I kiss away each tear Or else I shall be melancholy too  
  
Sarah grinned once she had finished singing.  
  
"Yes enchanting," Severus said sarcastically.  
  
"Oh lighten up Sev," she said and plopped herself down on his lap, with her legs over one arm of the chair.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked raising an eye brow.  
  
"Kissing away each tear, ok there are no tears so I will just have to kiss you," she said as she kissed him.  
  
When she pulled back he looked at her as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Excuse me I think I'll retire to my room." He said as he levitated Sarah and got up.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 11 - Gryffindor common room.  
  
Harry and Draco had snuck into the Gryffindor common room that night. They had collapsed on the couch next to the fire. They had fallen asleep in each others arms and the firelight lit up their faces so they looked like angels.  
  
Ginny couldn't sleep that night. She decided to carry on with her homework but she had left it in the common room. At least it would be warm in there, she thought as she wrapped her cloak tighter around herself.  
  
Soon she was in the warmth of the room and she could see the homework table dimly in the firelight. She paused as she picked up her work, she could hear breathing. She walked over to the couch that faced the fireplace. There she saw Draco and Harry, the boy she had loved for years, entwined in each others embrace.  
  
Heartbroken Ginny ran into the grounds.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 12 - the Hogwarts grounds.  
  
Ginny had run into the grounds but she wasn't alone, although none of them knew of the others presence in the grounds, Sarah, Ginny, Severus and Hermione were al there. All mourning the fact that the one they loved showed no interest in them. They all sat by the lake concealed form each other by bushes, trees and rocks.  
  
Suddenly music filled the air.  
  
What would I give To live where you are? What would I pay To stay there beside you? What would I do to see you Smiling at me?  
  
Where would we walk? Where would we run? If we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me And I could be Part of your world  
  
I don't know when I don't know how But I hope something's starting right now Watch and you'll see I'll try and be Part of your world.  
  
"I'll show her I do love her!" Severus resolved.  
  
"He'll have to see how much I love him." Hermione sighed.  
  
"Why doesn't he love me?" both Ginny and Sarah asked themselves.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 13 - the Death Eaters lair.  
  
Concealed in their secret hideout the death eaters sat talking round the fire.  
  
"You know I wanted to be a teacher." Said Avery thoughtfully, "I don't really want to kill creatures I want to teach about them."  
  
"Well I wanted to own a shop." Said Crabbe.  
  
"I had a great career as a writer." Sighed Lucius.  
  
"I could have been anything," said Goyle before.  
  
Goyle: We could've been anything we wanted to be But don't it make your heart glad That we decided, a fact we take pride in We became the best at being bad  
  
Lucius: We could've been anything we wanted to be With all the talent we had No doubt about it, we whine and we pout it We're the very best at being guys  
  
Avery: We're rotten to the core  
  
Crabbe: And my congratulations no one likes you any more  
  
Lucius: Bad guys, we're the very worst  
  
Goyle: Each of us contemptible, we're criticised and cursed We made the big time, malicious and mad We're the very best at being bad  
  
Avery: We could've been anything we wanted to be We took the easy way out With little training, we mastered complaining Manners seemed unnecessary We're so rude, it's almost scary  
  
Lucius: We could've been anything that we wanted to be With all the talent we had With little practice, we made every black list We're the very best at being bad We're the very best at being bad We're the very best at being bad  
  
"We got to get this song spell sorted!" Lucius moaned.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 14 - the Hogwarts grounds again.  
  
Sarah and Ginny bumped into each other as they stumbled through some bushes to the castle.  
  
"Professor!" Ginny exclaimed as she fell over Sarah's foot.  
  
"Ginny! What are you doing out of bed after curfew?" she asked but not sternly.  
  
"Why are men so horrid?" Ginny asked ignoring the question. "I love him and he as decided to love some blonde bint instead."  
  
"You too huh?" Sarah asked sympathetically.  
  
"Oh god here we go," Ginny said as music filled the air.  
  
Ginny: Sometimes I walk alone at night When everybody else is sleeping I think of him and I'm happy With the company I'm keeping The castle goes to bed And I can live inside my head  
  
Sarah: On my own Pretending he's beside me All alone I walk with him till morning Without him I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me  
  
Ginny: In the rain the pavement shines like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me forever and forever  
  
Sarah: And I know it's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say, there's a way for us  
  
Ginny: I love him But when the night is over He is gone The river's just a river Without him The world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere The streets are full of strangers  
  
Sarah: I love him But every day I'm learning All my life I've only been pretending Without me His world would go on turning A world that's full of happiness That I have never known  
  
Together: I love him I love him I love him But only on my own.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Scene 15 - other side of the lake.  
  
Severus sat alone contemplating how much he loved her, the bright light in his dark life, Hermione. Then he forced the image of her from his mind. He had fallen in love once before and it hurt.  
  
Falling in Love with Love is falling for make-believe! Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool! Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy! Learning to trust is just for children in school.  
  
I fell in Love with Love one night when the moon was full I was unwise with eyes unable to see! I fell in Love with Love with love ever-lasting. But Love fell out, with me!!  
  
"Damn!" Severus shouted I hate this spell.  
  
"That makes two of us." Came a sad voice in the bushes.  
  
Hermione emerged from the undergrowth.  
  
"Sorry professor, I had to go for a walk. Needed to think about some things." Hermione said and she went to leave.  
  
Severus: I can't fall in love with anyone.  
  
Hermione: Can't fall in love? But a life without love that's terrible.  
  
Severus: No, being on the streets, that's terrible.  
  
Hermione: No love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendid things. Love lifts us up to where we belong. All you need is love.  
  
Severus: Please, don't start that.  
  
Hermione: All you need is love  
  
Severus: I've still got to teach.  
  
Hermione: All you need is love  
  
Severus: I'll end up on the street  
  
Hermione: All you need is love  
  
Severus: Love is just a game  
  
Hermione: I was made for loving you baby, you were meant for loving me  
  
Severus: The only way of loving me baby is to stay forever with me  
  
Hermione: Just one night, just one night.  
  
Severus: There's no way cause you can't stay  
  
Hermione: In the name of love, one night in the name of love.  
  
Severus: You crazy fool, I won't give into you.  
  
Hermione: Don't leave me this way, I can't survive without your sweet love, oh baby. Don't leave me this way  
  
Severus: You think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.  
  
Hermione: I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no.  
  
Severus: Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.  
  
Hermione: Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, cause here I go again! Love lifts us up where we belong. Where eagles fly, on a mountain high.  
  
Severus: Love makes us act like we are fools. Throw our lives away for one happy day.  
  
Hermione: We can be heroes! Just for one day.  
  
Severus: You, you will be mean  
  
Hermione: No I won't  
  
Severus: And I, I'll drink all the time  
  
Hermione: We should be lovers!  
  
Severus: We can't do that  
  
Hermione: We should be lovers! And that's a fact.  
  
Severus: Though nothing would keep us together  
  
Hermione: We could steal time  
  
Both: Just for one day. We can be heroes, forever and ever. We can be heroes forever and ever. We can be heroes just because . . .  
  
Hermione: I will always love you!!!  
  
Severus: I . . . !  
  
Both: Can't help loving . . .  
  
Hermione: You . . .  
  
Severus: How wonderful life is . . .  
  
Hermione: Now you're in the world . . .  
  
"I think I'm starting to believe in love." Severus smiled as he kissed Hermione.  
  
  
  
I don't know how to love - Jesus Christ superstar Do I love you because your beautiful - Disney's Cinderella Lucky star - singin' in the rain Come to me my melancholy baby - Billie Holliday What would I give/ part of your world - the little mermaid Best at being bad - Bugsy Malone On my own - les miserable Falling in love with love - Disney's Cinderella The elephant love medley - Moulin Rouge 


End file.
